.Publisher's Note: The following is actually the content of a letter from Exploration 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reflecting on the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written very much regarding specifics of this objective throughout the month I have actually been actually here, mostly for 2 factors: the 1st being that there has been actually very little opportunity to carry out that kind of composing, as well as second of all due to the fact that I'm not exactly sure how comfy I am actually discussing thoughts I show to family and friends along with the rest of the world.Properly, undoubtedly the planet modified today. What I state or even carry out is actually quite slight matched up to the significance of what happened to our nation today when it was actually assaulted by ... through whom? Terrorists is all we understand, I presume. Challenging to know at whom to guide our anger and anxiety ...I had simply finished a lot of activities this morning, the most lengthy being actually the physical examinations of all team members. In a personal conversation complying with that, the flight plastic surgeon informed me they were actually having an incredibly poor day on the ground. I had no tip ...He illustrated the situation to me as absolute best he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was astonished, at that point frightened. My very first thought was that this wasn't a real discussion, that I was actually still paying attention to some of my Tom Clancy strips. It just didn't seem to be possible on this incrustation in our nation. I couldn't even picture the details, also just before the headlines of more devastation began being available in.Vladimir visited fairly promptly, sensing that something very severe was actually being actually explained. I swayed Michael right into the module too. They were actually also astonished and also stunned. After our company authorized off, I tried to discuss to Vladimir and also Michael as greatest I can the possible immensity of this particular act of terror in downtown Manhattan as well as at the Government. They accurately comprehended as well as were really thoughtful.I browsed the World Chart on the computer system to view where over the globe our company were as well as discovered that our company were happening southeast out of Canada and also would be actually skipping New England in a handful of minutes. I zipped around the terminal until I found a window that would offer me a sight of New York City and got the nearest camera. It took place to become a camera, as well as I was looking south coming from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to have a strange bloom to it at the base of the column that was streaming south of the urban area. After reading one of the news articles our company merely received, I feel our company were looking at NY around the amount of time of, or not long after, the failure of the second tower. Exactly how horrendous ...I swung the camera the whole time the East Shore to the south to view if I might find any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, however absolutely nothing showed up.It was actually quite hard to think of job after that, though our team possessed some to do, but on the upcoming orbit we went across the United States additional south. All three people were working one or two electronic cameras to attempt to get perspectives of Nyc or even Washington. There was fog over Washington, yet no particular resource could be seen. All of it looked astonishing from a couple of hundred kilometers away. I can't imagine the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Apart from the mental influence of our nation being dealt with and hundreds of our consumers and maybe some friends being actually eliminated, the best frustrating sensation being where I am is one of isolation.Following time ... I reckon the exhaustion as well as emotional tension acquired the most effective of me. I could not keep awake and also remain to create. Today was actually still challenging, however our company started getting even more details, plus our experts possessed the respect of chatting straight along with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, that ensured us that the ground crews would remain to operate as well as guarantee our protection, as well as the risk-free function of the Station. We additionally learnt through our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who incorporated that the companions in the Course are actually all entirely dedicated to proceeding secure functions and support. These were certainly never questions for me. I understand all these individuals! The ground staffs have been actually extremely encouraging, extremely understanding of the influence of the updates, and also have actually attempted to be as helpful as feasible. They have all been really expert and concentrated though I can't visualize the distraction of this kind of information can be found in and also the thought that federal government properties might be at risk. They never ever skipped a beat, even when moving nerve center. And a group of elderly personnel as well as good friends provided our company a rather in depth instruction about what was known and also what was actually being performed in the authorities as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually extremely valuable as well as kind of them to do in the middle of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has likewise been actually helpful and also practical, attempting to uplink newspaper article when our own assets were inoperable, as well as claiming kind terms ...My crewmates have been terrific, also. They understand it's been a tough time for me and also the folks on the ground, as well as they've attempted to be as also keeled and handy as possible. Michael also fixed me my beloved Borscht soup for supper. And they give me loads of room to think when I needed it. They are incredibly sympathetic as well as obviously shocked at whoever will perform this.I recognize a lot of folks in Washington, many people that travel to DC as well as New York City, so many who are actually captains, that I experienced sure I would obtain at least a few pieces of trouble over the following few times. I got the very first one today when I discovered that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I found Chic during the course of plebe summer months when our experts resided in the D&B all together, and also our experts had bunches of lessons all together. I can't visualize what he should of experienced, as well as right now I hear that he may possess risen better than our company can even think of by potentially stopping his airplane coming from being actually the one to tackle the White Property. What a horrendous loss, yet I'm sure Chic was fighting fearlessly to the end. As well as rips do not circulate the same in space ...It is actually complicated to describe exactly how it really feels to become the only American completely off the earth at a time such as this. The sensation that I ought to be there with each one of you, coping with this, helping in some way, is actually overwhelming. I know that our experts get on the limit (or even past) of a horrible switch in the past of the world. Numerous factors are going to never coincide again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not simply for the 1000s and hundreds of people directly influenced by these hideous actions of violence, however possibly for everyone. Our team will certainly locate ourselves feeling in a different way regarding lots of things, featuring probably area expedition, regrettably.It is actually awful to observe smoke pouring from wounds in your very own country from such an awesome point of view. The duality of getting on a spacecraft committed to improving daily life on the planet as well as seeing lifestyle being actually ruined by such deliberate, horrendous acts is jolting to the psyche, no matter who you are actually. As well as the expertise that every little thing will definitely be various than when our team released by the time we land is a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation and also in our leadership that we will definitely perform every thing achievable to better protect her as well as our loved ones, and also to take compensation for what has actually been actually done. I possess peace of mind that the excellent people at NASA are going to perform every little thing required to continue our mission carefully and return us properly at the correct time. And also I overlook each one of you significantly. I can't exist along with you personally, and also we possess a long way to head to complete our purpose, yet be particular that my soul is actually along with you, and also know you are in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the last letter ... Thankfully, it is actually been an active full week up listed here. As well as to prove that, like our nation, our experts are continuing our planned course along with service customarily (as long as achievable). Tonight the latest add-on to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment are going to be actually released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (United States time), it will definitely dock with our company, at a port never used prior to on the low point side of the Service Component. This new module will definitely offer our team one more place to dock a Progress or Soyuz and also are going to give a big airlock along with two useable hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which our experts are going to perform a few of before we come home.The trouble prior to in managing today was too little headlines. The problem today is actually way too much. It arrived all at once when e-mail was restored, and there's insufficient opportunity to review it all! Plus it's too difficult to take care of all of it at once. However I value receiving it, and also I actually cherish the great characters of assistance and friendship I am acquiring.We are flourishing on board, receiving our work done, and speaking about things. Last night our experts possessed a long discussion over supper regarding the value of these occasions, the achievable activities to comply with, as well as what need to be actually done. After supper, Michael made a point of telling me that every e-mail he acquired from buddies in Russia claimed primarily to tell me just how regretful they were that this happened, stretching their acknowledgements, and inquiring exactly how I was actually performing. Vladimir instructed me the Russian phrase for "condolences" after talking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Area. (Both the Russian and also the English words are actually considerably too lengthy to verbalize easily.) Really kind people.For the last 2 times, the Russian MCC has been good enough to broadcast real-time broadcasts of broadcast updates concerning the activity and affiliated stories, to see to it I was well educated. Every expert that has actually come on the line to talk about an operation or even an issue contends some point stretched greetings to me with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that due to the wedding day of recognition in the US, all day people had been actually delivering flowers as well as edging all the wall structures of the United States embassy in Moscow, as well as this night they were actually lighting candles in the road outside the embassy. Exactly how the globe has actually altered.People all over appear to acknowledge the senselessness and horror in this particular attack. And also the remarkable loss. Moscow has actually coped with these kind of issues in the last couple of years along with flat and subway battles, so they are actually as anxious to get rid of this risk as we are. However all-time low line is that there are actually excellent folks anywhere that want to reside in peace. I read through that a kid talked to, "The United States is therefore great to various other nations, we consistently assist everyone, how can they detest us so much?".I hope the instance of teamwork and also count on that this space capsule plus all people in the plan demonstrate daily will someday influence the remainder of the world to operate the same way. They must!Unfortunately, our experts won't be actually piloting over the US while people are lighting candles. Don't understand if we can view that anyway. We carried out, having said that, find a very uncommon and also gorgeous sight a few minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz enhancer. Our team were surpassing it as well as it emerged concerning 3 moments after its launch from Baikonur as the sunlight attacked our terminal, so it was still at night. It resembled a large comet along with a straight, broad tail silhouetted against the black earth below. Even with some negative illumination for a while as the sunlight attacked our window at a low angle, I took care of some video clip of it as initially our experts passed the spacecraft, and after that enjoyed it start to mesmerize as it gained altitude and also speed. I filmed until major motor cutoff and also enhancer splitting up developed just as our team moved toward sunup on the Mountain ranges. A remarkable sight in a memorable full week ...Lifestyle happens, even in space. Our experts are actually here to remain ... Frank.